Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Terrible idea I love it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
