i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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