also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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