i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
