I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
