the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I deserve this hangover.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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