problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
