the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
