He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
