look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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