she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
