How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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