Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
