things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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