Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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