i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she looked like the before picture.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize