HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Buhtt sex?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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