Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
