I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
