Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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