At least make sure they are 18
Why
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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