I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize