I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
