worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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