the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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