I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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