New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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