I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
