i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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