Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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