i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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