What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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