Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
