so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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