Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
