my vag is so smooth its legendary
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
