Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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