is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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