I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You may now shotgun with the bride
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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