Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She even gives head with a lisp.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
