you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
