You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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