Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
