these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
