Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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