all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
