Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
please don't ironically join a cult
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