Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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