All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize