I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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