She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
