whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
