"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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