Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
