so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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