hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
