I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
