Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
