The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
