I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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