Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
