it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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