that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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