i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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