I'm jealous of your bromance
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
