don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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