i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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