A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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